Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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