You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No I am not eating basil off your cock
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
