I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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