then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
