I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
