I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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