So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
