Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
