is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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