But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
