how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
