and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
D3 body, D1 cock
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
cat food counts as protein by the way
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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