Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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