hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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