and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
