Having a random hookup so left but love u
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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