i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
