Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
