i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
