so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize