I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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