Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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