Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
