you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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