i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
