If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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