My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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