On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
