everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
