k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
