u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
