Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
