Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
