He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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