dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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