jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
