you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
