Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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