I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
