Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
