and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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