It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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