this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
