is your mom at the bar?
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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