Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i now understand why vodka
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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