i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
