You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
