Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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