There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
