some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
