i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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