She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I accidentally burped into my bong.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
