Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize