Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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