No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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