I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
