your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
