Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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